I woke up today feeling happy and with a smile. I was dreaming about kissing Sugar. The smile lasted for approximately 4 seconds until I realized that I was awake and my short found peace had come to an end.
Another terrible day. I'm feeling more dead inside, more numb and apathetic. I don't fucking care what happens, I just think feeling nothing would be better than feeling like this.
Maybe I will find more peace in my dreams. Maybe this is the nightmare... The fake world.
Had a breakdown today. But if you don't cry when hearing Tom Waits's Martha, then you have had an easy life.
0 days without an incident.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
99 Problems: Day 1
But a bitch ain't one. Right now Sugar is the only truly positive aspect of my life. Things in D-Town are not progressing smoothly, and I still feel like I am waiting for my real life to begin.
Its been 10 years this January since the death of my father. It still hurts like it was yesterday.
I am more than likely going to be searching for a new career. I am seeing what A'yenn did years ago. Public education is no longer a field I wish to participate in. Or maybe just middle school. Have no effin clue where to go from here. And its dauntingly terrifying .
I am going to try and make it through the day without having a breakdown.
**0 days since last incident**
Its been 10 years this January since the death of my father. It still hurts like it was yesterday.
I am more than likely going to be searching for a new career. I am seeing what A'yenn did years ago. Public education is no longer a field I wish to participate in. Or maybe just middle school. Have no effin clue where to go from here. And its dauntingly terrifying .
I am going to try and make it through the day without having a breakdown.
**0 days since last incident**
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